Dogs of the Criminal Masterminds

Dog winking-Flikr-4833728156_d6df6b5490_m

And they say, WE are the dumb ones? Well, “dumb” we may be, but never stupid. So there! Wink . . . wink.

Whether you have a service dog, a guide dog, or just a wonderful companion dog, they (and we) do get into trouble.  Here, without preamble are some of the stories reported by humorist Spaulding Hoffhacker, in The Pointing Dog Journal.

News Item I.     A Mr. Edwin C. Finster of Jeremiah, Missouri, was arrested after getting off a plane in Bozeman, Montana.  Mr. Finster, who said he could not afford the exorbitant price the airlines charged to transport his dog, an English setter, to Montana for a hunting trip, decided to pose the animal as a guide dog, while he himself donned dark glasses as if blind. The flight attendants grew suspicious when they spotted Mr. Finster passing the time doing a crossword puzzle and the setter was giving him the answers.

News Item II.    An unidentified (for obvious reasons) dog owner was treated and released for injuries best left undescribed (nudgenudgewinkwink) while trying to teach his wirehair [terrier] to “back” by posing on his hands and knees as an example for the beast in a field occupied by an amorous ram he didn’t know was there. {Our response: Ouch!}

News Item III.    A New York Times reporter, long suspected of fabricating stories and making up facts and putting a slant on everything for his political purposes and filing false expense accounts and failing to put the lid back down on the paper’s unisex restroom, is severely reprimanded for these offenses by the Times management. But the event leading to his firing was when he filed a story about search and rescue dogs in which he used the words “Labrador retriever” and “intelligent” in the same paragraph. Even though “intelligent” was used to describe the handler and not the dog, the Times editorial board felt it was “just too close to forgive.”

And in another – gosh if the criminal wasn’t so stupid, we never would have caught ’em – story:

A man considering robbing a small bank in Pennsylvania thought it might be less obvious if he “cased” the place first, leaving his small dog leashed outside. The rural bank was friendly and even had a water bowl and treats for their customers’ dogs. On the day of the robbery, he left the dog outside as usual. However, a passer-by, worrying that the dog might have been left alone too long in the heat, recorded the animal’s tag with the owner’s identifying name and contact number. You know the rest.

Funny pig

Our thanks to The Pointing Dog Journal for allowing us to post a portion of the article, “The Way it Ought to Be,” which appeared March/April 2004, p. 98.

We'd love to get your comments and feedback on this topic and post. To add your comments, scroll to the bottom of the page and "Leave a Reply" (type your thoughts into the text box).

6 Responses to Dogs of the Criminal Masterminds

  1. Mary E. Trimble August 5, 2015 at 1:07 pm #

    I always get a kick out of reading about not-too-bright criminals. It seems sometimes the dog is much smarter.

  2. Norman W Wilson August 5, 2015 at 1:39 pm #


  3. Linda Ablin August 5, 2015 at 7:07 pm #

    Wonderful, as all your articles are.

  4. Bill Thorn August 6, 2015 at 3:46 am #

    A nice funny break from a serious subject!


  5. Susan Duncan August 6, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

    Loved those stories. And, the laughing piglet. Wink wink.

  6. Hemlata Vasavada August 10, 2015 at 6:33 am #

    Enjoyed reading these stories.

Leave a Reply